


You Like Playing Games

by nessiegirl



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Ambiguous Relationships, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-02 23:51:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4078633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nessiegirl/pseuds/nessiegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Liam just hopes, for the sake of his sanity, that this is not what they call “normal”.</em>
</p>
<p>Liam's new colleagues are trying to do... something, and Liam's trying to figure out what it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Like Playing Games

**Author's Note:**

  * For [words_unravel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/words_unravel/gifts).



> This is for Shailaja, based on the prompt "OT5 - Liam the IT guy works with girl!louis, girl!niall, zayn, and harry. Liam swears L&Z are dating and he KNOWS H/N are b/c he caught them in the supply closet the first week of the job." I didn't stick to that completely, but hopefully you'll enjoy this anyway!
> 
> The biggest of thanks go to Justine for being moral support, helping me with some of the plot issues I had, and repeatedly telling me this wasn't as bad as I thought it was.
> 
> Title comes from the song Little White Lies by One Direction.

Liam gets the call two hours and thirty five minutes after he starts work at Grimmy’s Vintage Vinyls.

Since his phone is an internal one and only takes calls from other members of staff, Liam skips the formalities when he answers. “Hey there, how can I help you?”

“Leeeeeeeyuuuuuuuuuum.” It’s Louis, and she drawls out Liam’s name in exactly the same way his sisters do when they want something from him. “See, I’ve run out of paper for my printer, Liam, and they’re very heavy, those packets. Could you bring one over to me, please?”

With a sigh, Liam agrees. In the job description for the new team-manager-slash-IT-support-person was the phrase “must assist other members of staff in any aspect of their job they struggle with”, and obviously people were going to abuse that at first. So when Liam had accepted the job, he’d decided that for the first week, he would tolerate it. No matter how big or small the request, he would help out those who needed him without commenting. At the end of the first week, he would then call a team meeting and review all of the things they had asked him to do, to explain exactly what was and was not acceptable.

It seemed like a good idea at the time but now, as he leaves his desk in Grimmy’s office to get a pack of printing paper, Liam thinks he made a mistake.

Louis is stood by the store cupboard when Liam gets there, with a sweet smile on her face and her hands behind her back. “Just wanted to thank you for doing this,” She says softly. “I know this isn’t really part of your job, so I just want you to know how grateful I am that you’re helping me out.”

Liam relaxes and smiles back. Even though she's taking advantage, Louis at least knows that this is wrong, so Liam doesn’t mind helping her out with the paper. “For this first week, I’ll let it slide. But after that, I’ll only help out when you really need me, okay? So don’t get used to this, me carrying paper to your desk - it’s not going to be a regular thing.”

Louis nods, quick to agree with Liam and flashes a wider smile. “Of course not, Liam.”

What Liam expects to find in the store cupboard is office supplies, and maybe the odd personal item someone’s left there by accident.

What he doesn’t expect to find - but actually does find, as he opens the door - is two of his new colleagues, Harry and Niall, in a compromising position. From what Liam can see, Harry has his hand up Niall’s short skirt, and Niall’s mouth is firmly attached to the side of Harry’s neck, as she desperately tries to stifle a moan.

It’s a bit of surprise for Liam, to say the least.

“Oh my god,” Liam stammers, when he gets over the initial shock. “Oh my god, you’re-”

Niall lets out the moan she was trying to hide, and slumps against the shelf behind her, still breathing heavily. It takes Liam a moment to realise what happened, but then he shrieks out, “Did you just have an orgasm, Niall?!”

A smug, satisfied grin slowly appears on Niall’s face, and she nods in agreement. “Yeah - a pretty good one, actually.”

Nothing else happens for a while - apart from Harry’s hand moving under Niall’s skirt once or twice, and the pleased sounds Niall makes as a result - until Harry coughs politely. “Is there anything we can help you with, Mr Payne?” Harry says it with a smirk, so he clearly knows that he and Niall are the ones causing the problem here, and he just said that to get Liam riled up.

Unfortunately for Liam, the teasing works. “Yes, you can both help me out, by getting back to your jobs!” Liam’s not proud of how much higher than normal his voice is, but he gets the words out, which he considers a win. “The office store cupboard is not an appropriate place for your hanky-panky!”

Harry finally removes his hand from under Niall’s skirt, earning him a displeased groan and a hit on the arm from Niall. “Coulda kept going once he’d left,” She mutters, but she also straightens her clothes and leaves the cupboard, so Liam doesn’t comment. And then there’s Harry, who wiggles his glistening fingers at Liam and says, “Think I’d better wash my hands first, don’t you, boss?” as he leaves and heads to the men’s bathroom.

With the two of them gone, Liam quickly goes in and grabs the pack of paper for Louis. But as he turns to leave with it, Liam catches Louis’ smug grin. His stomach drops with the realisation, so he shoves the paper at Louis and heads back to Grimmy’s office with a bright red face.

That was a test and, given how embarrassed he got, Liam thinks he may have just failed it.

 

Two days later, Liam passes the main office at the end of his lunch break, and does a double take. Louis is stood on her desk, performing a well choreographed dance routine to the Pussycat Dolls’ “Don’t Cha”. For Liam it’s unexpected, to say the least, and there’s a whole list of reasons why she shouldn’t be up there. It’s a waste of her time at work, for one, and it’s a disruption to other members of staff, and some of the moves are definitely not appropriate for at the office. But most importantly, it probably violates a number of health and safety policies, and if she falls off, Louis could get seriously hurt.

However, when Liam looks around the office, he’s surprised to find that no one else is paying any attention to her. Niall’s still on the phone, booking an appointment with Grimmy for a new client. Harry’s still boxing up their excess stock, ready to send to another shop. And Zayn - the fourth and final member of the team - is still working on the website, trying to update the photos after Grimmy’s recent redecorating spree. That’s almost as strange as the fact that Louis is dancing, because how they can focus on their jobs with Louis gyrating in the corner of the room, Liam has no idea.

In the end, Liam just shakes his head and continues down the corridor to his own office. And apparently today is going to be full of surprises for Liam, because for once he finds Grimmy at his desk when he gets there. It’s such a surprise that before Liam has time to think about it, he blurts out, “Louis’ up on her desk, dancing to “Don’t Cha”, instead of working.”

Grimmy - or Nick Grimshaw, because Liam should probably use the full name for his boss instead of a casual nickname - lets out a stream of loud raucous laughter. “Ah yeah, she does that at times. Oh, and she does “Bootylicious” when she’s in the right mood. That’s an absolute treat, by the way - keep an eye out for it.”

Liam stares at Grimmy with his most unimpressed expression. “Mr Grimshaw,” And for once Liam does use his proper name, to emphasise that Grimmy is the boss and supposedly the mature and responsible adult here, “one of your employees is dancing on her desk. That’s both a violation of several health and safety codes, and-”

“Oh, lighten up,” Grimmy says breezily. “She does it all the time, and she hasn’t hurt herself yet, so nobody’s that bothered.”

“You’re not bothered that she’s dancing on her desk instead of working?”

“Well, she doesn’t have that much work to do, so I can’t really complain.” Grimmy shrugs, and looks back to his computer screen for a moment. “Yeah, she’s officially an “admin assistant” here, but there’s not a lot of admin to deal with. Most of the paperwork is done online now, so there’s no filing or sending stuff in the post, and Niall handles my meetings most of the time. To be honest Louis’ mostly here to cover someone else when they take time off, and she’s pretty good at it, so I don’t mind her having a bit of fun when she’s free.”

Liam’s trying to decide how to respond to that when the phone at his desk rings. “I’d better, y’know,” He says to Grimmy, as he gestures to the phone. Grimmy waves him away, so Liam quickly answers the call.

It’s only Zayn, asking Liam to update the software he’s using, but that’s okay. Liam’s just grateful for a reason to get back to work, instead of finishing the conversation with Grimmy.

 

In the general store cupboard, ink cartridges for the printers are stored loose in a big cardboard box. Liam appreciates the idea, since they have three different types of printer between them, and each one takes different cartridges, and there’s black ones and individual colours and it’s not a bad idea, okay. He doesn’t think that at all.

It’s storing that box on the top shelf that’s a bad move.

Even worse, someone’s pushed the box right to the back of the shelf. Liam can’t reach both sides of the box - even with his fingertips - so for ten minutes he’s been pulling one side at a time, his fingertips and thumb just about gripping the box as he pinches it and gradually moves it forward until he can get a proper hold on it. So far he hasn’t made much progress, but Liam keeps trying, because he refuses to go and ask anyone for help

The door behind Liam has been open the whole time, so the first sign that someone else has joined him is a quiet chuckle. “What are you doing, Mr Payne?”

It’s Harry, and Liam sends up a silent prayer in thanks, because Harry is the only person who may be able to reach the box and this way, Liam doesn’t have to actually ask for help. “I’m trying to get some more ink for my printer, but I can’t reach the box,” Liam explains, even though that should be fairly obvious. “D’you think you could get it down for me?”

Harry steps closer and puts his arms either side of Liam so he can rest his hands on a shelf in front of them, and effectively traps Liam there. Liam’s still by the shelves, still reaching up for the box, and doesn’t realise what’s happening until it’s too late, and Harry’s breathing softly in his ear. “I don’t know, Liam. Could you make it worth my while?”

Liam blushes, because he knows what Harry means, what he would want in return for his help, and Liam’s not willing to do that with someone he’s known for less than a week.

Harry laughs then. “I was just kidding - god, you’ve gone so tense, Mr Payne.”

Liam relaxes, just a bit, until Harry reaches up to get the box. Leaning forward presses Harry up against Liam, all the way down his back and around the curve of his bum and the back of his thighs, and that’s bad enough. But Harry has an erection, an obvious bulge between his bony hips, and it’s pressed right up against Liam’s ass. For Liam it’s the most uncomfortable moment of his life as he stands there and, despite his best intentions, gets hard at the feeling of Harry’s body touching his.

Once Harry’s got hold of the box, he steps back and lowers it to the ground. “Okay, which ones do you need?”

“I, um - I don’t - how about you just, um.” Liam frowns and clears his throat. “Leave them there, Harry, and I’ll - ugh - I’ll get them in a minute, okay?”

“Mr Payne, are you okay?”

Harry sounds innocent, but Liam knows better than that. “Yes, I - Actually, no. Fuck, no, I - you got me hard, alright? So just go away, and leave me to sort this out.”

Liam’s still facing the shelves, but he can feel the smug grin Harry’s giving him. “Well if you need any help with that, Mr Payne, I could always-”

“No, Harry!” Liam yells, before he can finish the sentence. “I do not need your help with an erection, thank you very much!”

Harry walks away, cackling as he goes, and Liam once again wishes he hadn’t got the job after all.

 

Tuesday morning of the following week finds Liam on his knees under Louis’ desk, checking the USB receiver for Louis’ wireless mouse. She swears it’s still plugged in, just like it was the day before, but somehow Liam doesn’t believe her.

“Nah, I reckon a five,” Niall says, and Liam rolls his eyes. Louis had called Niall over with a waggle of her eyebrows and “Liam’s getting down on his knees for me,” so Liam quickly tuned out of their conversation. Now, though, he’s wondering what’s a five - probably someone in a magazine, knowing them.

“Really? I’d say a six,” Louis replies. Liam’s finally got to the back of Louis’ computer, so now he just has to check the USB ports, and make sure the right bit is plugged in.

Zayn bursts out laughing then. “A six? No chance. Maybe a four, at best, but it doesn’t even matter.” Ah ha! There’s something else plugged in where the mouse should be, so Liam carefully pulls it out. “With all the muscle on his arms, he can hold you up against a wall and fuck you. You wouldn’t even be thinking of Liam’s ass.”

As he sits up quickly, Liam smacks his head on the desk, and mumbles a stream of curses at his workmates. There’s something from Louis as Liam crawls out, maybe an argument for a higher number, but Liam doesn’t listen this time.

Once Liam’s out, Zayn replies with, “Yeah but, babe, I normally get to see your gorgeous ass. There’s no way Liam can compare to that.”

“Okay, enough of that conversation!” Liam yells, and Niall snorts with laughter. “Louis, I found this where the mouse thing should be. Any idea what it is?”

To Liam, it’s just a black memory stick with a white button, but Louis’ eyes light up when she sees it. “I was wondering where I put that!” She exclaims, as she dives for her bag and grabs something from a pocket. It’s made up of two sections - a slightly curved one, made from the same rubbery black material as the memory stick, and a silver plastic section that connects to the USB bit of the other part. Louis connects them together and instantly the whole thing comes to life, buzzing furiously in her hand.

It takes Liam a minute to get it, to get what this is, but then he’s horrified. “You’ve been charging a vibrator on your computer at work?!”

“It ran out of battery on us yesterday, just before I came!” Niall replies, and Liam shrieks, because that is way too much information for him. “Of course we were going to stick it in-”

“Okay I have to leave now glad your mouse is fixed Louis goodbye everyone,” Liam says loudly, all in a rush, before leaving the main office and heading back to his own desk.

Sometimes, Liam wonders if they’re trying to get rid of him. And sometimes, Liam wonders if it would be a good idea to leave, given everything they do. But he needs the money, and hopefully this is all just fun and games with the newbie, and maybe after a week or two, things will go back to normal.

Liam just hopes, for the sake of his sanity, that this is not what they call “normal”.

 

Over the weekend, Liam decides to stop reacting to his workmates and their ridiculous stunts. Clearly getting him embarrassed and frustrated is what they want, so Liam’s not going to do that. He’s going to stay calm and professional, no matter what happens, and then they’ll stop eventually. After several weeks of ignoring their pranks - or maybe even days, knowing how short Louis’ attention span is - they’ll get bored and move on, and find something else to keep them entertained at work.

By 10:30 on Monday morning, however, Niall Horan is testing that decision.

She comes in while Liam’s typing, and when he finally looks up, Liam finds himself looking straight down her top. Niall’s leaning on the desk, with the fabric of her low cut shirt hanging away from her body and revealing the fact she’s not wearing a bra today.

Liam resolutely looks up at Niall’s face, without blushing or biting his lip or reacting in any other way, and asks, “Can I help you with something?”

“Got a bit of a problem on my computer, with Chrome. It’s frozen on me, can’t do anything at all, so I need you to come and fix it.”

“Have you got any idea what it was?” Liam asks, as he locks his own computer.

Niall waggles her eyebrows. “Lesbian cheerleaders.”

“What?”

“Lesbian cheerleaders. They really know what they’re doing, those girls, and not wearing panties under the skirts? So hot. Imagine that, them twirling around and getting a flash of their-”

Liam takes a deep breath. “You mean you’re watching porn on your computer at work? And that’s what froze it?”

Niall shrugs, and gestures for Liam to follow her back to the office. “Well yeah - what else am I meant to do all day?”

Liam doesn’t even bother answering, and just goes straight to her computer. As Niall said, it has completely frozen, so he can’t even close the program and sort it out that way. The only thing Liam can think of is switching the computer off and then back on, and hoping there isn’t a virus in the system which could ruin the whole thing.

It doesn’t take long for the computer to start up, but while they’re waiting, Liam has to ask. “Look, I know you don’t have a lot of work to do here - I have the same problem myself, some days - but why porn? Why not Facebook or Twitter or one of those stupid online games?”

“Got shit internet at home,” Niall answers honestly. “It takes so fucking long to buffer any videos, it’s just not worth it. And since there’s super fast broadband here, why not take advantage of it? Besides, the lesbian cheerleaders is pretty tame compared to-”

“Lesbian cheerleaders? That’s what you were watching?” Louis says out of the blue. “Nialler, you promised I could watch it with you!”

Liam shakes his head and turns back to the computer, which is ready for Niall to log into. She leans over Liam’s shoulder to type the details in, breathing louder than usual in his ear, but Liam reminds himself to stay calm and focus on the job at hand and not let it affect him, no matter how long it’s been since the last time he had an orgasm with someone else involved.

Once Niall’s logged in, Liam runs the virus checker, which quickly tells him there’s nothing on the system. That means the problem came from the web page itself, so Liam opens Chrome ready to test the theory.

At first nothing happens - Chrome opens, the five tabs Niall had open slowly load, and then -

“Oh, baby!”

Liam very calmly moves the mouse over to close the relevant tab, as the cheerleaders start moaning loudly in the background until he can do so. But when he looks up, everyone is staring at him and - fuck, yes, even Nick is stood by the door, smirking at Liam. “Having fun there, Mr Payne?”

“Just sorting out a problem with Niall’s computer, Mr Grimshaw.”

Nick sighs and shakes his head. “Oh, Niall. What have I told you about watching those videos at work?”

“Only watch the het ones, because if I must watch porn you want at least one dick involved, since you’re so fabulously gay and hate vaginas with a passion?”

She says it so deadpan that for a moment Liam believes her, he actually thinks Nick has told her that repeatedly, but then Nick lets out an indignant squawk. “I have told you, Niall Jane Horan, not to watch porn here during working hours! It doesn’t matter who’s involved - just don’t do it!”

“If she hasn’t listened the last five hundred times, she’s hardly gonna listen now, is she?” Zayn says from his corner, where he’s gone back to his own work.

“And don’t forget who told you about incognito mode, for those websites you don’t want us to know about!” Harry adds.

Nick looks around and shakes his head. “My own staff, turned against me.” He stops at Liam, and stares. “Are you still on my side, Liam Payne? Or have you joined the rebellion against me too?”

Liam looks around at each of the others, hoping for inspiration. Harry is just waiting to see how he’ll react, and Zayn’s still watching his screen as he actually does some work, and Louis. She’s staring at Liam, almost as much as Nick, waiting for his response.

“Well, I’m not sure I’m on either side?” He finally answers. “As the team manager, I see myself more as the middle man, the one who tries to work through problems and keep both sides happy.”

Nick sighs, evidently disappointed, and leaves the room. But Liam’s surprised to find Louis looks just as let down by him. Clearly that was the wrong answer, but by this point, Liam has no idea what the right answer might be.

With Niall’s computer working fine now, Liam excuses himself from the office and goes back to his job, in the hope that he can at least do that right today.

 

The rest of the week passes slowly, as Liam avoids his colleagues and ignores all of their calls.

It’s not a great idea, because most of Liam’s job involves working with the others, but Liam doesn’t know what else to do. Clearly he shouldn’t be getting embarrassed by what they do but he should react in some way, and there seems to be Nick on one “side” and everyone else on the other and Liam doesn’t know how he fits into that. As team manager, does he take the team’s side? Or as a manager, are the team automatically against him? It’s all so confusing, and rather than ask anyone about it, Liam just stays away from them, and hopes everything will magically sort itself out over the weekend.

As Liam gets ready to go home on Friday night, avoiding everyone stops being an option. Zayn’s stood at the empty doorway, watching Liam with his arms folded across his chest.

Zayn Malik is one of the most intimidating people Liam’s ever met. Yes, he’s beautiful, but more importantly he’s smart. His brain works ten times faster than Liam’s ever will, even on a bad day, and he knows so much about life and the world and if you can’t keep up with him, he’ll happily put you down with a cruel grin and snide remark. But at the same time, he can be so gentle when Niall gets upset, and so friendly when he teases Harry, and so funny when he and Louis are yelling insults back and forth across the room. It makes Liam want to be a part of the group, so he can see that side of Zayn and so he can be treated with that same kind of fondness.

“So you haven’t died, then.”

Liam frowns, and slides his plastic lunchbox into his bag. “Um, no? Why, were the four of you planning on celebrating my death?”

Zayn sighs so Liam goes back to his bag, and puts his phone in the right pocket. As it slides into place, a firm hand slaps him around the head, landing right on his ear and messing up his hair as it swings away. “God, are you really that stupid?”

Liam looks up, and tries out the wide eyed pout that let him get away with murder at home. He’s not being stupid, exactly, but he’s not being as clever as Zayn, and hopefully Zayn will realise that soon and calm down.

“No, fuck - don’t give me the puppy dog eyes.” Zayn shakes his head and turns away. “No, I’m pissed off with you, Liam. That comment, about us wanting you dead, that really hurt, okay? Of course we don’t want you to fucking die. We want you to chill the fuck out and join in on the fun.”

“Wait, what?”

Zayn sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Look, in case you hadn’t noticed, working here is pretty boring, okay? So we have fun. We do the work, yes, but in between we play pranks on each other and tease people and sometimes make out in the cupboard because it’s better than sitting at our computers doing nothing. Grimmy doesn’t care - he knows he pays us for too many hours, and he doesn’t care what else we do as long as we get our jobs done.

“And we want you to be a part of that fun, Liam. We want you to do something stupid, something childish or teasing or whatever you fucking like so you can be a part of the team and enjoy yourself while you’re at work.”

“Oh.” Liam suddenly feels very, very stupid - even more so than he usually does in Zayn’s presence. Now that he knows, it seems so obvious that they were trying to include him. After all, only so many things count as coincidences, and they passed that number within the first week. There were so many times he caught them in the cupboard, and so many jokes, and all the other teasing, and Liam can’t believe he didn’t realise.

“Did you really think we hated you?” Zayn says, breaking the silence with a small, vulnerable voice. “Liam, fuck, we didn’t-”

“I didn’t know what to think,” Liam admits, mostly to stop Zayn from sounding so sad. “God, you guys were doing all this stuff, and I just - I couldn’t tell what it was. But that look in Louis’ eyes, on the first day when I caught Harry and Niall. It felt like a test, and I knew I had failed. I just didn’t know what I should have done, that’s all.”

Zayn nods slowly. “Okay, that’s - we can work on that. I’ll talk to the others over the weekend, and we’ll back off, like. But the offer’s still open - come and join us whenever you want, yeah? Whether that’s teasing and jokes or the making out or whatever you wanna do, just come on over and get involved. You’ll always be welcome, I promise.”

Liam agrees so Zayn wanders off, and leaves Liam alone. Once again Liam has been left reeling by his colleagues, and he honestly can’t believe what Zayn told him. But Liam has a chance to sort this out, to make it all right again, and he’s going to grab it with both hands.

Now he just has to work out exactly how he’s going to do that.

 

On Monday, two unexpected but very convenient things happen.

Firstly, Zayn must have stuck to his word and spoken to the others at the weekend, because they don’t bother Liam at all. No one is making out in the cupboard when Liam has to get a new memory stick for a project he’s been working on, and the only call he gets all day is a genuine request for help. Harry’s lost several very important files about their current stock on his computer, so Liam goes to see what he can do. And for the whole thirty four minutes he’s in the office, all of the staff are either polite to Liam, or leave him alone to work.

It’s a confusing turn of events, to go from the constant teasing and childish antics to nothing at all. They feel like strangers, with their formal greetings and kind smiles and Harry actually paying attention to Liam for once. And while yes, Liam is glad that they’ve backed off and let him decide what he wants, he also feels a bit sad that they’ve made such a drastic change, and slightly guilty for ruining their fun.

And that’s the second thing, because Liam had spent all weekend wondering what he should do, and how he should show them he wants to be part of their games. However, when Liam gets an email from one of his favourite news websites, with an article about events coming up in the week, he gets an idea.

It takes a while to plan everything out and gather the information and find a suitable website to order samples from, but by mid-afternoon Liam is ready to suggest it to Nick.

Thankfully Nick shows up at the offices for once just before five, so Liam can discuss it with him straight away.

Nick loves the idea, and laughs for several minutes straight once Liam’s finished talking. But then he asks why Liam is doing it, and he stops to listen as Liam explains everything that had happened, and that he was hoping this would be a way to get more involved with the others.

“Before you do this, I want you to know that you don’t have to be like that with them,” Nick says, sounding very earnest and mature for someone who’s wearing a hoody with a unicorn printed on the front. “You’re an employee here, and your work is valued more than your relationships with the other staff, okay? I mean, obviously you have to get along with them, but you won’t get sacked if you don’t want to get involved with them. And if they don’t like that, they’re the ones who have to leave, not you.”

“Please don’t sack anyone - not because of me!” Liam clutches the sheet of paper he’s holding tighter, and looks away from Nick. “Look, I - I do want it. I spent a lot of time thinking about this, because I know it has to be my decision. And fuck, they’re all so lovely and gorgeous and I just, I didn’t know if it was an option. But if they’re offering, I’m not gonna say no. Trust me, Nick, I thought about this all weekend, and it’s what I want, I promise. And, like. If anything happens, if I change my mind or whatever, I’ll tell you straight away so we can sort it out. But please don’t fire anyone - please.”

Nick snorts and Liam looks up to find him shaking his head. “Oh come on Liam, this is me. Do you really think I have the heart to sack anyone? Of course not. But as you said in the info, it has to be safe, sane and consensual, so as long as you don’t feel under pressure to be a part of that, it’s all fine with me.”

Liam nods slowly and turns away.

“Oh, and Liam?”

He turns back at the sound of his name.

“Get Niall to clear my diary for Friday. I’ve suddenly decided to take the day off.”

 

_Safe Sex Awareness at Grimmy’s Vintage Vinyls - 31st July 2015_

_To coincide with National Orgasm Day, the management at Grimmy’s Vintage Vinyls have put together a safe sex package for each member of staff. We hope this will remind members of staff to always have safe, sane and consensual sex, especially if they’re going to get it on in the workplace!_

_Included are several pages of information about how to have safe sex - which cover the correct use of male and female condoms and dams, how to have safe anal sex, and how to have safe oral sex with both penises and vaginas - and a brief guide to safe BDSM, for those of you who are interested.  A range of condoms, dams and sachets of lube will also be available to staff, so you can test out some different options and never have a reason not to have safe sex._

_(Please note - while many people joke about King Size condoms, and how they’re unnecessary when you can stretch a standard condom to fit over a fist, this is not true. A condom that’s too tight can cause problems with maintaining an erection, or tear during intercourse, which means it will no longer be effective. Always use a correctly fitting condom, and make sure you carry your own if a standard size doesn’t fit you.)_

 

On the day, Liam arrives at work early to set up the main office. Thankfully it doesn’t take long to put up the _Happy National Orgasm Day!_ banner across the back wall and hang the bunting he's made from condoms, dams and lube sachets taped to a length of string, and Liam finishes twenty minutes before anyone else is due in. After a quick look around to admire his work, Liam sits down at his own desk and plays Candy Crush while he waits for the others to arrive.

From the sounds Liam hears down the corridor, Harry arrives first and bursts out laughing. There’s a lot of heavy wheezing and thigh slapping, which makes Liam worry about Harry and whether he’s having a heart attack. But then Liam hears a deep cackle and Harry’s phone beeping as he types out a message, so Liam doesn’t worry for too long.

Not long after, the next two people run up the stairs, which means that Harry probably texted Niall and Zayn, and they’ve just arrived at the same time. At first there’s nothing, no reaction from either of them, but then Zayn says, “What the fuck?”

“Are those condoms?” Niall asks, as her footsteps move away from Liam. “Oh sick, there’s dams too! I know I’m clean, but sometimes your moustache fucking burns when you go down on me, Z.”

Zayn laughs. “Calm down, Nialler. It’s only sex stuff, it’s not that exciting.”

“Mate, it’s been years since we were at uni and got all this stuff for free. Don’t you miss that, just a bit? And anyway,” She adds, as an afterthought, “it means free sex. Who the fuck is gonna say no to free safe sex?”

“Eh, fair point.” There’s a pause, and Liam thinks he knows what Zayn has spotted, and can imagine the smirk on his face. “Looks like we’ve got you covered too, Harry. There’s a bunch of those delay condoms in the mix, to help you last.”

“Heyyyyyy,” Harry replies, probably frowning at Zayn. “It was the one time, and we were both drunk, and you didn’t last much longer!”

“It was the one time with Zayn, not the one time ever,” Niall mutters, and even Liam has a giggle at that.

“So, what’s all this about then?” Louis seems to have appeared out of nowhere, and there’s a crash as something gets knocked off a desk. “Oh Harold, you’re such a clumsy twat.”

“Louis, you were suddenly there, right behind me! It was a shock, of course I was going to stumble about and knock things over!” He sounds pretty indignant, but that soon changes to glee. “As for all this, the management of Grimmy’s thought we should have a safe sex awareness day.”

“Ohhhh, the management thought that, did they?” Louis asks loudly, emphasising “the management”. “Well, would the management like to get their ass out of that office and make sure we’re fully aware of how to have sex safely?”

As Liam enters the room, he grins. “Actually, the management is well aware that you know how to have safe sex, since you all shag each other on the job and the management keeps catching you at it.”

“So this is…?” Zayn asks, gesturing to the bunting and the banner.

The four of them are stood staring at him, but Louis’ gaze is particularly intense, so Liam stares back at her as he answers. “Well, mostly the management want you all to know that they support your sexual activities. However, if any of you are interested in getting involved with the management, they are willing and available for the rest of the day.”

Niall groans. “Okay, can we all stop calling Liam “the management” now? Especially you, Liam. It’s getting pretty weird.”

“We can, but if any of you are into that, I could be in charge in a sexual way.” Liam shrugs. “I’ve held down quite a few of my partners, or held them up at times - that’s quite fun, up against a wall or whatever.”

Louis blinks repeatedly, and then starts circling Liam, watching him the whole time. “Are you actually Liam Payne, or are you a clone? Because this kinky side of you is something I never expected at all, and I can’t quite believe you’re the shy guy who didn’t even realise we were flirting for all of those weeks.”

“I’m calling dibs on the Liam clone!” Harry says, before Liam can even respond.

Niall purses her lips and glares at him. “That’s just rude.” Harry frowns at her, ready to retaliate, but Niall carries on. “You should have called dibs on both. The real Liam would feel left out otherwise, and with two you get double the fun.”

Harry grins and wraps an arm around Niall’s waist so he can pull her in close. “I love the way your mind works.”

“Okay yes thank you, lovebirds,” Louis says loudly. “Today is about Liam and finally getting to make out with him, in case you’d forgotten.”

Zayn plucks one of the regular condoms off the nearest strip of bunting, and holds it up as he grins at Louis. “Not sure these are meant to be use for making out, babe. Seems like a waste of them, if you ask me.”

“And if you ask me, every moment Liam is standing there unkissed is a waste but no one’s doing anything about that, are they?” Louis says, as impatient as ever.

“Well, you only had to ask, Lou.” Harry strides over, wraps an arm around Liam and leans him backwards. A large hand cups Liam’s cheek, and pulls him in for a breathtaking kiss, and Liam melts a bit. Harry is good, kissing Liam firmly and taking control and maybe Liam gets half hard from it but god, he’s missed having someone like this.

When Harry finally lets him up, Liam stumbles a bit, until a pair of hands on his hips steady him. “Y’alright there?” Zayn asks, gentle concern in his eyes, and Liam nods, because now he is.

“That’s great and all, Harold, but we have this thing called fucking consent, and you just snogged Liam until he fell apart without permission!” Louis sounds furious about it, which is weird. After all, she was the one who said it was a waste of time not to kiss Liam, didn’t she?

“She’s just jealous,” Niall stage-whispers, and Louis squawks indignantly.

“Don’t worry Lou, I’m saving the best til last,” Liam tells her with a wink. “So, since I’m already here, wanna be next, Zayn?”

Zayn mutters, “Oh my god, yes, I really fucking do,” and also kisses Liam before he agrees to it. This time, though, there’s more give and take. Zayn mixes firm pressure and gentle licks with a bit of teasing, with pulling away to see if Liam will follow, and Liam happily does so. Kisses that leave you breathless and longing are fantastic, but Liam has always liked being more involved in the process, and giving back as much as he receives.

Before they even stop, a small hand grabs Liam’s bum, and he moans into Zayn’s mouth. “God, you two look so good together,” Niall says from somewhere to the left, and trails her hand up from Liam’s bum and underneath his shirt, to lightly trace shapes into his back. Liam suddenly wants her too, to find out if Niall’s a good kisser, so he holds Zayn still with a hand at the back of his head and turns to kiss Niall.

Niall eagerly accepts the offer, but lets Liam do most of the work while she keeps touching, gentle tickles up his spine and then a scratch of her nails that makes Liam keen loudly. He’s hard now, he’s throbbing in his tight underwear, and Liam really hopes that there will be more than kissing today, otherwise he’ll have to hide in the toilet and sort himself out.

Liam then swaps back to Zayn, who groans lowly and presses his crotch against the side of Liam’s hips. Zayn’s hard too, and ruts against Liam as they kiss, apparently just as desperate as Liam feels. It’s crazy, to be stood in the office with one of his colleagues humping him and other teasing him, as all three of them take it in turns to snog each other, but Liam doesn’t care. They feel so good, all pressed close to one another, and unless someone wants out, there’s no way he’s stopping this yet.

However, they do stop when a soft moan from the other side of the room interrupts them, and they all take a minute to see what’s going on. It’s Louis, who’s stood between Harry’s legs with her back to his chest and her underwear around her ankles and her eyes fixed on the three of them making out. Harry flips her skirt up once they’re looking, to show off the way two of his fingers are thrusting in and out of her, as his thumb firmly rubs her clit. Louis moans again, louder this time, and Liam tells Harry to slow down.

Louis whimpers as Harry changes pace, and shoots a glare at Liam as he pulls himself free. “What the fuck, I was so bloody close, why would you do that?” Liam thinks she was trying to sound angry, but it comes out needy and weak, proving just how close Louis was.

Liam goes over and steps in front of Louis, leaning down a bit to accommodate the height difference. “You’re not coming until I’ve had a good kiss from you too,” Liam tells her, and then pulls her in to do just that.

Louis is also different to the others, and starts off aggressive, nipping at Liam’s lips and roughly pressing her tongue into his mouth. But as she nears her climax, it turns into gasping into Liam’s mouth, and the occasional brush of their lips as she shifts around, trying to get Harry’s fingers in just the right spot. “Oh god, please,” She begs, desperate and breathless, and there’s only one answer to that.

“C’mon, Lou, come for me,” Liam whispers, and then presses his lips to hers to swallow her moan as she comes. For several minutes they stay there, Liam continuing the kiss as Harry works Louis through the orgasm, until Louis sighs and shoves Liam away.

“Well, Liam James Payne.” She shudders again, as Harry slides his fingers out. “Welcome to Grimmy’s Vintage Vinyls.”

**Author's Note:**

> All comments are welcome, but please make sure criticism is constructive and polite :)
> 
> I'm also on [tumblr](http://quietlyqueer.tumblr.com/) if anyone wants to talk more about this or any of my other fics.


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